Food and copulation are as closely linked as Ben & Jerry, peanut butter and jelly, Salt-N-Pepa – all of the great pairs. Restaurant dates are a staple and few things are more impressive than making your date a home-cooked meal. And, let’s face it, food doesn’t just have to stay in the kitchen.
Nudge nudge, wink wink.
But, like most relationships, food and copulation have their disagreements too. You’ve probably heard of aphrodisiacs, foods like oysters and pomegranates that are infamous for turning you on?
Well, consider these 10 foods your anti-aphrodisiacs, a.k.a. the foods that are guaranteed to turn you off.
Ordering a cheese platter might seem like a classy way to impress your date, but they’re also a one-way ticket to Abstinence-ville. Population: You.
The multitudes of hormones in dairy products, like cheese, might mess with your own hormone levels, including estrogen and testosterone. And when your hormones are askew, it’s likely that your copulation drive won’t be at its strongest.
2. Corn Flakes
If you and your date are meeting in the morning (or maybe you’re still together from the night before…) skip this bland breakfast cereal. Otherwise, you’ll have a much less enjoyable, uh, morning grind.
Turns out, there’s actually a myth behind why corn flakes kill the mood. And it’s straight-up diabolical.
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg, who invented corn flakes, believed that sweet or spicy foods inflamed the passions, and sought to depress the libido with a bland, sugarless cereal. This urban legend has never been officially confirmed, so it’s more likely that the carbs and grains in this cereal are what’s turning you off.
This one might seem surprising, considering that chocolate has long been considered a "romantic" food. Well, it is for ladies, at least.
For women, chocolate can serve as an aphrodisiac as well as a sweet treat. But men are singing a different tune when it comes to chocolate and copulation; chocolate actually lowers testosterone levels, lowering male copulation drive dramatically.
This one isn’t all bad, for women at least. Soy has high levels of estrogen, which means that ingesting soy products prior to copulation will boost a woman’s libido significantly.
However, for men, the opposite can be said. Eating soy boosts a man’s estrogen levels, doing a pretty good job of ending his copulation drive pretty much on the spot.
There are enough crude expressions involving alcohol and male genitalia for you to see where we’re going with this one. A shot (or two) might lower your inhibitions and boost your confidence, but it will also reduce testosterone levels and limit sensual function in both men and women.
6. Fried Food
You might want to consider skipping the drive-thru pre-coitus.
Fried foods and foods that are high in fat are going to leave you feeling tired and sluggish. Shockingly, that’s not very copulationy. Even worse, hydrogenated fats and oils suppress male testosterone levels.
Skip this snack at your next movie date. Due to a natural ingredient in the candy called glycyrrhizin, eating a high amount of licorice can suppress your libido and lower testosterone levels.
To be fair, you would have to eat a lot of licorice for this to be a serious issue, but do you really want to risk it?
8. Microwave Popcorn
Having your date over to Netflix and chill? Skip the microwavable popcorn. Definitely for the sake of your copulation drive, but also for some more serious health reasons. Chemicals like perfluorooctanoic acid found in the bag’s lining can not only kill your libido, but over the long term, can even cause prostate problems in men.
Switch to stove top corn, fellas. Still romantic and delicious, but minus the unpronounceable chemical that’s slowly killing your prostate.
Need a quick boost before you get busy? Skip the java. If coffee makes you jittery, then it is not your friend in this scenario. Your increased anxiety from the caffeine intake will lower your copulation drive, as people with caffeine sensitivity have most likely experienced.
Skip the pre-kiss gum, guys; the menthol in mint lowers testosterone, which in turn depletes your copulation drive. Try a fruitier flavor to keep your breath and your libido fresh.
Photo by Julian Hanslmaier on Unsplash