Dating Advice for Shy GuysBy Kimberley Spinney - 4 min read
When you are shy it can be hard to put yourself out there, and this is especially true for guys...
When you are shy it can be hard to put yourself out there, and this is especially true for guys who are shy and looking for a relationship. However, while you may be a shy guy, that does not mean you can’t find love. In fact, there are few tips that can help you to get beyond your natural shyness in order to meet the right person for you.
Although you might think that being shy, uncertain, and possibly insecure is going to be a deterrent when it comes to finding love, there are always ways to work around these tendencies. It is important to remember that the right person for you is going to see beyond your shyness. In fact, your partner is more likely to appreciate the things that make you special, because in some way they will fit with who they are as a person.
However, while it is easy enough to say that the right person is out there and all you have to do is find them, the reality is that you still need to put in the work to find someone who can appreciate who you are and the fact that in general, you are a shy guy.
Even in a man who is shy, women and men want their partner to have confidence, and even if one of the reasons that you are shy is because of a lack of confidence, there is a standard phrase that needs to be adhered to in this instance; fake it until you make it.
Confidence is Key
While it can be difficult to give off a sense of confidence if that is not something that you have, there are ways to make it seem like you have confidence, even if you don’t. It is important to project confidence when dealing with potential partners because everyone wants a man who is confident in himself. There is no need to be cocky or aggressive, but if you can show that you believe in yourself and who you are, it can set the right tone to show potential partners that even though you may be shy, you still have faith in yourself.
In terms of showing off your confidence, if you have problems with projecting this, there are a few things you can do to make this shine through. Make sure that when you talk to people, you are looking them in the eyes. Maintaining eye contact, especially with someone you are interested in dating, is really important. Not only does this show the person that you are actually interested in what they have to say, but it also projects a sense of self-confidence that can be quite refreshing. It also helps to smile when you are talking to people. A smile is a great way to show that you are happy and at ease, with the person, you are with.
Lose Negative Thoughts
As a shy guy, there comes a point in time when you start to think of dating as a negative thing because it tends to be harder to interact with people you may be interested in going out with. At the same time, it is also likely that there have been some negative experiences that simply do not help you when it comes to thinking about putting yourself out there to find someone. In order to get passed this, it may require what is essentially a retraining of your thought processes. Remember that the things that happened in the past are just that, in the past. Stop dwelling on the things that have gone wrong and instead focus on moving forward and thinking positive. Much like projecting a sense of confidence when you seem to be lacking that, if you project a positive outlook on life and dating, you will bring in positivity.
Be Invested in Your Partner
Remember to take an interest in your partner. While you may be too shy to really talk about yourself, get to know the person you are interested in. Although it can be hard to talk when it comes to sharing who you are, it is still important to engage in conversation, so make it about the person you are getting to know. Not only will this help you to learn more about your date, but it will also make them see that you are genuinely interested in them as a person. Beyond the fact that it should help you learn more about the other person, it will help to ease some of the shyness because you are getting to know the kind of person that you are with.
Remember Dating is Fun
Think about dating as being something fun and hopefully easy. If you can think beyond your own inherent shyness, you will most likely be able to move past it as well. As a man, people expect certain things from you and while there is no need to follow the expectations of others, it is important to be yourself and remember that dating can be hard for a lot of people. You are not alone in feeling stressed or worried when it comes to how others perceive you, but the reality is that being who you are is what will help in finding the perfect person for you. Embrace the fact that you are shy and think about it as showing that you aren’t going to brag about things or pretend to be someone you are not. There is nothing wrong with being shy, especially if you remember to show the other aspects of who you are, because really while you may be shy that is not all you are as a person.
Photo by Nikos Koutoulas via Flickr