Janelle Monae and Tessa Thompson have apparently come out as the newest celebrity LGBT icons. In Monae’s latest video for her latest song, "Make Me Feel", Monae and Thompson get close while Monae expresses her views expressing solidarity with bisensual people. While the two haven’t confirmed that they’re dating, their open celebration of queerness has started a conversation about the lives of queer women and their romantic lives.
Dating is complicated enough. As a queer woman, there are even more issues. The issues of gender and sensuality can make dating difficult, but dating as a queer woman can be a lot of fun.
What does being queer mean?
Queer is a term that has many different definitions. The word used to be a slur to describe LGBT people, but has been reclaimed as a positive term by many people. Many now use the term to describe people who are outside the confines of gender and binary sensuality. Simply put, a queer woman is one may be attracted to a person of any gender.
Why is hard to date as a queer woman?
Dating as a queer woman can be complicated. Women who date people of any gender can be judged as being selfish or promiscuous. When a queer woman dates a woman, it may be seen as a phase. If she dates a man, she may be seen as a traitor to the LGBT community. In a world that says you have to pick one gender or the other to love, queer women can be in a complicated situation.
How can dating as a queer woman be made easier?
Just as the Internet made it easier for queer women to discover who they are, dating apps can help queer women find each other. Apps like HER help queer women meet each other and not have to deal with pervy men. The creator of the app, Robyn Exton, explained the need for the app.
"No one understood what LGBT life was like for women. The diverse, exciting queer community I was seeing at bars and events wasn’t available online. So I decided to do something about it," said Exton.
Exton also explained the diversity in the app’s gender and sensual orientations featured in the app.
"The way people see sensuality has changed a lot in the past four years — the idea of having a few defined sensualities doesn’t exist anymore. Everyone’s sensualities were changing and evolving. We realized that we couldn’t be so specific with sensuality and even more so gender identity.The key focus now was making it as easy as possible for women to meet each other, focused on starting conversations and creating a community," said Exton.
Dating as a queer woman has challenges, but can be made simple. Just finding other supportive LGBT people online or in person will create a community that will help queer women find the love they deserve.