Sex No Longer As Intimate As CuddlingBy Kimberley Spinney - 3 min read
In this new age of dating, hookup apps, and instant gratification, one of the key things in a relationship, sex,
In this new age of dating, hookup apps, and instant gratification, one of the key things in a relationship, sex, has lost a level of intimacy that for some might be surprising to fathom.
Sex has always been an intimate experience, and while no one is saying that it isn’t, it has in fact lost out on being one of the more intimate acts that can be done by a couple.
While some might argue that sex is still about intimacy, the problem with this argument is that sex is easy, whereas being truly intimate is not. Saying sex is easy might be simplistic, but if you think about it, for some people sex has become about “getting off.”
It is no longer about connecting with your partner and is rather about gratification.
This is why some people see sex as a means to an end or as easy as a random hookup.
Sex is something that can be life-changing. It is messy and fun and something that for many is all part of being in a relationship.
However, there are plenty of people who look at sex as something casual, and it is this lack of respect for sex that has led to it losing out on the level of intimacy that other acts still retain.
People are sleeping with individuals that they barely know. It is almost like a game to some, and this means that rather than holding the act of sex as an intimate expression of one’s relationship, it is more about notches in a bed post than anything else.
Of course, this may not be true for everyone, but at the same time, if you look at other acts of intimacy, there is something to be said for them is even more intimate than sex. Perhaps one of the more intimate acts a person can engage in with another person is cuddling.
There are so many reasons why cuddling is a truly intimate act. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, think about when the last time you were held and remember the level of comfort that came from it.
When you think about cuddling, maybe you don’t see the intimacy, but where else can you get a level of closeness and care from a person.
Cuddling is about more than two bodies coming together; it is about wrapping your arms around another person or even just lying next to them with your bodies touching.
When you cuddle, you can hear the heartbeat of the person you are with under your ear and potentially be feeling at peace.
There is a vulnerable feeling when held by another person when your limbs are tangled together, and being able to allow yourself to be vulnerable is an act of intimacy that is hard to understand unless you are in that situation.
As you lay there together, you can feel the heat of the other person’s body, and in these moments, your guard is let down, and you are letting your partner in, in a way that even sex can rarely offer anymore.
It is a comfort to be held by someone, and to truly allow one’s self to be cuddled and held; it is all about allowing your emotions to come into play.
While sex no longer needs emotions for many people, when it comes to cuddling, there has to be something there for it not to be a stilted and uncomfortable experience.
It can be both terrifying and beautiful to allow yourself the chance to be held in such a way as to feel a person’s heart beat and their breath on your skin.
Cuddling may not sound like an act of real intimacy, but the reality is, there is so much more to it than what sex offers. Instead of instant gratification or satisfaction, one is given a chance to relax and find peace, which can be more rewarding than what sex might offer.
Although sex and cuddling are certain things that can happen together, if you truly think about these two intimate acts as separate actions, all it takes is thinking about what each makes you feel to find that there is something to be said for simply being held.
There is nothing wrong with sex, but sometimes doesn’t it feel better just to be held and comforted?
Photo by Jeffrey Pott-Flickr