Should You Breakup With Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend Or Go On A Break?By Aubree Phillips - 4 min read
With a new year comes a new you, and you may want to welcome some changes in your love life...
With a new year comes a new you, and you may want to welcome some changes in your love life as well. In this article, I explain some things for couples to do when their love life is in a rut. I also give a few reasons why you should incorporate some introspective skills to analyze your true feelings regarding your romantic relationship. The reason for this is because there is a very fine line between what is considered worthy of a breakup or just a restart after some time apart. May the new year shed new life and light into your newfound appreciation for your loved ones and may this article help you as you learn about things for couples to do when you feel without hope.
Reasons To Breakup
1. You’re Fighting All The Time
It may be true that couples who fight well together stay together, but if you are always fighting and never making up or never trying to come up with solutions to problems before they get out of hand, then you might need to consider breaking up.
2. If Either Of You Are Together For Any Reason Other Than Love
Unfortunately, there are some people out there who are users and take what they can from you before they move on to the next person. If you and your partner are together for things like money, sex, support (of any kind), and not love, you should steer away from this person since they will only give you heartache, among other things, in return. You deserve better than that, and you should not give in to being a people pleaser yourself.
3. If Both Of Your Personalities Don’t Match
It is a known saying that “opposites attract”, but what about the saying “birds of a feather flock together?” Sure, you may want someone who is loud, quiet, adventurous, funny, smart, kind, etc., but at some point, you may feel disconnected from your partner if they are too different from yourself. Matching personalities is no easy feat, and some personalities just don’t match up at all. What works for some people may not work for you. The differences can either make you grow as individuals and as a couple or not. It is up to you on whether or not you can tolerate their personality, because it may never change.
4. If You Cannot Feel Vulnerable To Each Other
Sharing your deepest fears and desires will not just make you feel heard and understood, but it will pull you closer emotionally to your partner, and therefore will allow intimacy to shine through. If you are afraid of being honest with your partner, or to show your true self, then you may not be right for each other. Whoever you’re with, you should feel comfortable enough to gradually open up, emotionally, mentally, and physically to your partner over time.
5. If There Is No Passion
Love takes time to unfold. If you cannot feel passion for your partner, and I am not just talking about in the bedroom, although that helps. If you cannot feel passionate love for your partner, then you may want to consider “just being friends” if both of you enjoy each others company. Passion, like vulnerability, takes time to unfold as well.
Reasons To Go On A Break
1.You Care About Each Other Even When You Are Fighting
If you love the person you are with, your fights shouldn’t consume either of you. You will want to find the solution to whatever problem is at hand, and you will take time apart to cool down and talk things over. This is because communication, trust, and respect go a long way in any relationship. If you are afraid of losing someone over a silly fight and are willing to work things out to regain their trust and respect, then taking a break may be what both of you need to do.
2. If Either Of You Are Not Ready To Date But You Don’t Want To Lose Each Other
This is self-explanatory, but life has ups and downs, and sometimes that will take a turn for the worse for your relationships. Taking a break may be what you need to do to get things back in order, and you will feel refreshed and ready to learn all about what each of you did while you were apart, which may be just what the two of you need if your conversations lost their witty banter or got dull from ordinary life circumstances.
3. The Pace Of The Relationship Is Moving Too Fast
You may need some time apart if you are unable to enjoy your time away from your partner, dismissing invitations to go out and do something fun, other than hanging out with your partner. This behavior can drain you. You may have an intense passion for each other, which, when controlled, is easy to come back to unscathed, but uncontrolled, could leave both of you burned or facing a burnout. This may be truer for many couples in the beginning stages of attraction since the relationship is so new and exciting. A break may be just what you need to calm down and look at the relationship in a more mature way. In this way, you may be on your way to long-lasting love.
4. Your Dates Have Become Dull And Full Of Routine
Sure, you may be comfortable with your partner, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, this behavior could lead either of you to take each other for granted. A break will shock both of you into putting in some effort in yourselves and the relationship as a whole, and could even put into perspective how you feel about the person you are with, rather than how you feel about your usual dates when the person you love is no longer around.
5. If Either Of You Are Becoming Too Agreeable
We all should have standards when it comes to dating, but when you lower your standards too much, you become someone no one should be, and that is a people pleaser. This stems from a lack of experience and a low self-esteem. You should be firm in what you say and do, especially regarding your love life. If you raise your standards, become assertive, you could be a challenge. If you find balance with agreeableness and your standards, you may make your partner deem you worthy of their love and respect.
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