7 ways to Spice Up Your Married Sex LifeBy Kimberley Spinney - 5 min read
Sometimes in a marriage or long-term relationship, you feel like the passion and spark have burned out. While it is
Sometimes in a marriage or long-term relationship, you feel like the passion and spark have burned out. While it is important to figure out why the desire seems to have abated in your relationship, sometimes it is as simple as just needing to revive the lust.
Bringing back the passion, horniness, and even the feel of a one-night stand can be tricky, but there are always ideas that can help reinspire the lust. While this is not an exhaustive list of ideas, these tips can help to ignite the passion that seems to be missing in the relationship.
1. Go Out Clubbing
When you first met or started dating your partner, chances are you went to a club or a bar, at least once. Clubbing can be a chance to engage in a sexy party with your partner of teasing and seduction. Dance with each other, grind on your partner and make sure there is a lot of touching involved in your night out. Your goal is to seduce your partner in such a way that they are desperate to get home and ravish you, but this is not the time for it as you want to make sure to invite his lust and passions. Instead, this is a time when you can see and touch your partner, but can’t go any further.
The anticipation and inspired lust should be enough that by the end of the night you should both be impatient to rip each other’s clothes off and engage in a hot and passionate night of sex.
2. Role Playing in the Bedroom
Perhaps one of the sexiest things a couple can do together is role-playing in the bedroom. While this can be a time-consuming endeavor if you choose to be more elaborate in your play, dressing up for each other can light a fire in the bedroom. This is the perfect time to reveal a fantasy to your partner or try something you have never done before.
Even if you don’t want to get too elaborate on your first time out, there is nothing wrong with keeping things simple. Grab masquerade masks and some lingerie you already own and seduce each other. Whether he is in boxers or jeans wearing nothing more than a mask, or you are in some sexy lingerie with your face hidden, you are both engaging in a fantasy that can be genuinely seductive. Even something this simple can make you both feel sexy and wanted.
3. Explore Sex and Kink Together
Routine can be boring, and when it comes to sex, this is not a good thing. After a while, sex can even start to feel relatively monotonous. However, it is important not to let this happen, especially over an extended period. Instead, you will want to shake things up and bring a twist to your sex life. While there is no right or wrong way to do this, there are plenty of things you can try and explore to heat things back up.
Bring some kink into the bedroom with any number of ideas. You could try to bring food (like whipped cream) into play, try our ice idea for spicing things up, give some new sex positions a chance (such as those that can be found in the Kama Sutra), watch porn together, or even try some spanking and nibbling. Talk to your partner about the things you want to explore in the bedroom; chances are they will be open to trying something new to get the juices flowing again. There are endless options when it comes to sexual exploration, and it is all about coming together and having fun.
4. Masturbate Together
Mutual masturbation may not seem like a big deal, but watching your partner get off, while you strive to reach your orgasm can be enough to heat things up for next time. Not only will this remind you of what you like when it comes to being touched, but watching your partner reach climax can be enough to set off your own. This is about touching yourself and letting your partner see you do it.
Whether you are using your hand or toys, this should inspire your partner to want to touch you. Plus, if this mutual masturbation session is a completely independent exercise, then having them only able to look, but not touch, should be enough to make them just as wild as you will be.
5. Sext Each Other At Work Or While Out
When it comes to heating things up between you and your partner, sometimes all you need is a little sexual tension. One of the best ways to build up some sexual tension is to get things going before you are even in the same place. Choose to send naughty texts to your partner, whether they are at work or just running errands. Let your partner know what you plan to do to them when you see them next and make it as explicit as possible. You can start slow and build up too much hotter scenes, or you can be naughty right from the beginning and make sure they know exactly what you have planned immediately. Either way, sexting can be a surefire way to get things hot and steamy well before you make it home for the day.
6. Explore Domination
Domination and submission are not for everyone, but if you want to explore a new dynamic in the bedroom and you trust your partner, then this could be a way to bring back some of the passion and spark to your relationship. This is your chance to let your partner be in control, or for you to be in control, depending on which of you is more dominant or submissive.
Before you attempt to bring domination into the bedroom, it is important to sit down and talk about what you will and will not do. Make sure you have a safeword which will take the place of no or stop. This is all about being safe, being reasonable with each other, and above all else, making sure that everything is consensual, even with someone you trust.
7. Go Bold and Invite Another Couple To Watch You Make Out
This particular tip will not be for everyone. However, there is certainly something to be said for involving other people in your sex life, even in a more innocent manner. Inviting another couple to watch you and your partner make out does not mean that you have to have sex with the other couple (unless of course you and your partner want to), but indulging in voyeurism and exhibitionism can help to flame the fires of lust.
Make out in front of them, take part in some heavy petting and kissing, and just let go of all your inhibitions. This is all about having fun. Not only can it be a turn on for you, but for the other couple as well. Once the passions get high enough, you can always excuse yourselves and finish what you started. If not, then the anticipation of having to wait can be just as hot as knowing that someone else watched you make out like teenagers.
When it comes to reinvigorating your sex life in your marriage or long-term relationship, both fun and communication are the keys to making things better. Shake things up and remember there are no right or wrong answers when it comes to passion and bringing back the fire to your bedroom escapades.
Photo Courtesy of Rowena Waack - Flickr