Jamie, an old buddy of mine, called me last week and poured his heart out. I will reach for a glass of vodka and sip as I think of what to tell her tonight.

I do not want to go down that road again, it’s not easy, but a man has to do what he has to do. "I am no longer attracted to you Sandra, but please don’t think that you are not attractive. You are. I just can’t go on living a lie.”

I am at my local, and all I see are gorgeous couples walking in. On the other hand, my phone keeps buzzing after every two minutes: She’s calling. I’m guessing she is probably home waiting for me. Nevertheless, Sandra has to know what I feel inside. I am no longer attracted to her, I shouldn't feel this way but, I will take the risk.

It was love at first sight, beautiful, and bliss. But the feelings have faded away with time. I still love her, without a doubt. That’s why I’m still committed to her. It is the physical that I can’t get past.

Where Did We Lose Track?


It has been one year since Sandra moved in with me. The excitement we both had initially was epic. You see Sandra is the kind of woman every man wants. She is a princess; who is gentle, naïve, and warm. It takes time to differentiate love and infatuation when you’ve got such a woman.

Moving in with Sandra put an end to my usual house parties. I also wasn’t allowed to bring every Tom, Dick, and Harry to what I should now call “our home”. Life took a 360-degree turn and by default, I have been the financial provider. Sandra is the woman of the house. She has a blog and works from home.

Wait a Minute

Life has been pleasant living with Sandra. I forgot how food used to taste at my usual take away joint. My dry cleaner equally lost business and my home is pure bliss with regard to neatness. I have also realized immense financial growth because I no longer get to go out with the boys as often as I did before meeting her.

Sandra is also not the types who spend a fortune in the saloon. She likes to maintain a short natural afro. I have never seen her on make-up either. Which is good for my wallet, right? But now I feel that she lost her mojo.

A Typical Day with Sandie

She wakes up early in the morning to make breakfast and clean the house still in her pajamas. When I get back from work, she is either still in her pajamas or in an oversize tracksuit. She doesn’t exercise but owns an entire wardrobe full of tees and loosely fitting pants.

I also feel that working from home has made her add a few pounds. But I have no idea how to tell her without offending her. She has been a great companion and her laughter melts my heart. You tell me, buddy, am I being petty?

The Verdict

Jamie is one of the many men who struggle to look at their women the same way they did during courtship. It didn’t surprise me that his wife would spend a day in tracksuits. What else is she supposed to wear indoors if that’s the only place she spends 24 hours every day of the week?

The Solution

Women easily conform to their comfort zone. This is a good thing because as a man, you won’t have to deal with the daily nagging and fighting over petty issues. However, challenge your lady cleverly and she will take your bait. If you plan your relationship such that every once a week you have a dinner date, your lady will have to wear “dinner appropriate” clothing and possibly apply some make-up.

Finally, instead of roses and chocolates, graduate into more meaningful gifts. Lingerie, a flowery beach dress, and a sexy dinner gown would all send better thoughts her way. Unlike men, most women can read minds. But they hate to be told nasty stuff about them on their face; no matter how true these things are. She will resent you for the rest of her life.