What Is Rough Sex?By Kimberley Spinney - 3 min read
When it comes to the idea of rough sex, there are many different definitions, depending on the people involved. It
When it comes to the idea of rough sex, there are many different definitions, depending on the people involved.
It is because of how different rough sex can be that it is important for you and your partner to talk about your definitions before engaging in any sexual acts together.
Sex, in general, is all about consent and this is especially important when it comes to engaging in any kink or activity beyond what you may usually take part in sexually. It is important to realize that what might be rough to you, may not be “rough enough” for someone else. Everyone is different and knowing what your partner expects regarding the play you will be taking part in is crucial to an enjoyable experience.
There are many different meanings when it comes to rough sex, and if you ask people about their definition, you will get a variety of answers. For people who love kink, there is an entire gamut of possibilities.
For some people, rough sex could mean hard thrusts, penetration that is deeper than usual, biting, sucking, and even nails in the skin. It is this idea that you cannot keep your hands off your partner and you simply have to mark them in some way.
Rough sex can be about having your partner dominate you in some way. Whether this means having them tell you not to move or a position you must hold while they do something to you, domination is as much psychological as it is physical. Even being handcuffed to the bed while you have sex with each other can be an aspect of rough sex and domination.
When a guy takes complete control of the situation, this can even be a lead up to something rough and kinky. While there are different levels of control when it comes to taking charge in the bedroom, there are plenty of women and men who want to play rough. This can mean incorporating spankings, hair pulling, and even leaving some marks.
Even on social media sites, it is not hard to find people talking about the rough sex they enjoy and the fact that they want their partner to leave behind a bruise or a red mark to show that they have had a good time. While every relationship is different, one thing that is common to see is couples talking about what makes this kind of sex enjoyable to them.
For some people, being dominated and hurt in some way is a pleasurable experience. Then there are the people who give their partners what they are looking for and for them, it is about fulfilling their partner’s needs and desires. Often, the more dominant partner will say that what makes them happy and gives them the greatest sense of satisfaction is the knowledge that they have given pleasure to their partner.
Rough sex can even be about creating a scene and just coming up with a scenario that you have never taken part in before. It could be about going down on your partner and them holding you down there until you both orgasm. These are the times when rather than use a gentle and sensual touch, your touch is rough and seemingly hurried. This is when touch is more about exerting control than it is about being sensuous.
Perhaps on a tamer note, rough sex can also be about being so hot for each other that you not only can’t keep your hands off of each other but once you have hit the bed, you are racing towards that mutual orgasm.
It is about going at each other hard and fast, with no sense of slow build up or even worry about niceties. These are the times when there is no thinking involved, and instead, it is about grinding on each other, going at it until the sweat is dripping and the bed springs are creaking.
There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to the question of what is rough sex, instead, it is about figuring out for yourself what pleases you. The most important thing is to be open and honest with your partner.
Tell them what you want and make sure you let them know what your limits are. Even when you are actively engaged in sex with your lover, you are still responsible for your safety, and if something happens that makes you feel uncomfortable then you have to speak up. Sex should be a pleasurable experience and even adding a touch of roughness should only bring pleasure.
Image courtesy of flickr-x1klima