Still not over the fact that you two are no longer an item? Or that she/he moved on without you? Trust me: I know the feeling. It is okay to think that it is because of the love you still feel towards your ex, and that things can be back to the way they were.
Different people deal with breakups differently. Men will, on most occasions, cut off contact and plunge into endless rebound relationships to keep themselves distracted. Some will engage in drinking sprees or tons of one night stands.
Ladies, on the other hand, will often stay clear of relationships for a considerable duration to heal.
Far from it, is it alright to want your ex back even right after you parted ways? In most instances, when partners want to get back with their lovers, it’s the ego talking and not the heart. You might only be looking to date again in order to momentarily find closure, and then shortly after end the relationship. If not, it will simply crumble down by itself because chances are it won’t last long.
Why You Should Not Think of Getting Back with Your EX
Here are some of the reasons why that should not be such a welcome idea:
a) It is not him/her you miss
Yea right; you don’t really miss your ex. No, you just miss feeling loved and having someone to show love to. Be keen to move on and find somebody else but don’t be quick at it lest it becomes a mere distraction to suppress your grief.
You are clearly not thinking straight as your judgment is clouded by emotions of rejection, anger, and hurt. It is only right that you take time off to heal instead of poking the wound which will only ameliorate things.
The relationship did not work, right? I know you're thinking; "maybe we didn't try hard enough." Stop lying to yourself. Why should it work out now? After all that has happened, you will be building on a baseless failure-bound engagement.
Your relationship did not just come to an impromptu moratorium. There were concrete reasons that led to the sabotage. Focus on these reasons; whenever your mind wanders off to this misplaced idea. However, don’t hold a grudge against your ex. Otherwise, you won’t move on.
e) Your Self-worth and Self-esteem
This should never be confused with pride. It would be injurious to your dignity if you go crawling back to your ex, begging for second chances. Let's face it, even if you manage to make-up, she/he will always have that feeling of having the upper hand in the relationship. You are simply giving them another chance to hurt you.
f) Negative growth
There is no way you will develop emotionally if you can’t get accustomed to the idea of moving on. Going back will only be a sign of weakness. Don’t be afraid to meet new people and try new things.
It’s Time to Move On
Find something you love to keep you busy and don’t lock yourself away for new adventures. Whatever you do, don’t hide your grief. If you are teary, please cry but never swallow your pain. No matter how good you might think you are at hiding it, grief will always come back to haunt you. So let it out.
Sad emotions eventually build up and ruin us in the long run. Talk about it with your friends and give another shot at socializing. People don’t change much; going back will guarantee you a firsthand seat at being hurt again. Cut off any contacts with your ex. And get rid of those things that will remind you of your memories together.
Sometimes we might be the ones who need to walk out. And when we do so, it would be imprudent to go back on our actions. It is not a weakness to grieve. The real strength lies in our ability to accept these afflictions and moving on despite the asperity.
Breaking up is hard. Moving on is even harder. Your heart might not make things easy for you but trust yourself enough to let go. Don’t be too hard on yourself. People will always walk out of our lives, but it is only fair to let others walk in. Love is a mystery and moving on only adds to its many intrigues.