4 questions to ask yourself before datingBy Aubree Phillips - 4 min read
If you are not sure who you want to date and have the time to spare, then prepare yourself for...
If you are not sure who you want to date and have the time to spare, then prepare yourself for a fun activity that you can do at home.
Knowing who to choose to go out on a date with can be very difficult, especially if you are not sure or love who you are.
To form a relationship with anyone, you need to first and foremost create a relationship with yourself by asking yourself questions like; Would I date myself? Who am I? What is my personality like?
What activities do I like to do by myself and with others? What do I want out of life? Who do I want to share my life with?
Only by answering these questions can you be sure. You do not need to be alone in this, which is why this can also be a fun group date idea for those who are still single because you can get more insight by asking other people the questions above.
Or maybe you want this to be a fun activity that you can do at home by yourself, and either choice is ok, as long as you are ok with it.
Now that those questions have been asked let’s get into more detail on them so that you may better know who to date.
Would I date myself?
This question is asking whether or not you take care of yourself and are presentable while out on a date.
By taking care of yourself, you show that you love and respect yourself and that you may be ready to love and respect another person.
It is also asking whether or not you are mental, emotionally and physically ready to be in a relationship.
Questions in this category may also be; Am I willing to think and care about spending time with someone I’m dating? Am I in a right place physically to want to date someone?
If you just got out of a relationship or just moved somewhere new, perhaps it may be best to wait until you are 100% sure that you are ready to put time and effort into getting to know someone and allowing them to get to know you.
Who am I?
If you do not know who you are, how is anyone supposed to either?
Labels do not have to define who you are, but knowing who you can help you find a mate.
Questions to ask yourself in this category may be; Am I nerdy, athletic, an artist, a caregiver, a teacher, etc.
What is my personality like?
This question may have you asking yourself if you are an introvert or extrovert, ambivert (both), shy, carefree, aggressive, dominant, conservative, patient, etc.
For example, if you are naturally shy, you may want someone who is more outgoing to help you get outside your comfort zone.
If you are someone who enjoys their alone time, someone who also likes to be alone may help the two of you bond.
What activities do I like to do by myself and with others?
Look at your career path and find your passion in life. What are you skilled at that you enjoy doing to help others?
Do you like to go hiking, zip lining, staying indoors watching TV, cooking, drawing, scuba diving, singing, go to parties, etc.
Finding someone to do these activities with may help the two of you bond.
Remember that doing different activities whether separate or together may help you find other things to talk about when the two of you are in need of an adventure.
What do I want out of life?
Do you see yourself moving to the countryside, the suburbs, the city?
Do you want a small space, a pet, a family? Do you want to live up north or in the south?
Do you want to follow your career or to find someone to live your life with? What is life for you?
To know the answer to this question, you need to look deep inside your soul and find what makes you happy and at peace.
What is your “happy place?” Only then can you know what life is all about for you.
Who do I want to share my life with? This is the hardest question to answer because you can only respond to this question once the other matters have been answered.
Do you see yourself with someone who wants the same things in life or someone to add some variety to your life?
Do you want a partner to share your life with, or more of an open relationship so that your heart may go where and when it pleases?
Are you looking for love, or something more casual?
By asking yourself these questions, you are better able to discover what life truly is all about for you and what direction you see your life going.
Don’t be surprised if you find that your answers change over time because you are also changing as you live your life.
Self-reflection is key to being able to see the changes made, so feel free to ponder your answers for a while.
Now that you have asked these questions to yourself, you also need to ask whoever you are dating so that you better understand where they are coming from as well.
You need to know if the person you are dating is dateable, knows and loves themselves and is in a good place to date, knows their own real personality, knows what activities they like to do by themselves and with others, knows what they want from life and is willing to share it all with you, or not.
Don’t be afraid to say what you want out of life because you only get one life, and because some people may find it sexy that a person knows what they want out of life, love and just about anything.
If you are still struggling with these questions, don’t expect them to come easily because it may take a lifetime to know, but that is the journey of life, and you don’t need to be alone for that, which is why this really can be a fun group date idea.
All you need is to be able to know what it is that you want, and life will take you in that direction.
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