Battling Nerves On The First Date

Battling Nerves On The First Date

So you've accomplished the first steps. You've set up a date, time and place with a cute new boy. You're excited, but you're very, very nervous. You may have been interested in him for some time now and you can't believe you're actually going to get the chance to sit down with him for dinner.

I don't blame you for being nervous - it's natural, just remember to keep breathing. The anticipation of a first date can be absolutely daunting - but exhilarating. But if you're anything like me when it comes to wanting to make a good first impression on a date, you've spent a lot of time getting ready. Perhaps your bedroom floor looks a tornado has made it its war path. You've exhausted every possible option in your closet, and yet nothing seems to fit just right. But finally, the fashion gods descend upon you and you've found the best option. You’ve got this step-down.

Now comes the actual date.

A great thing to keep in mind when choosing a restaurant to go to is to go to one you’re familiar with. By being in surrounding that you’re used to it allows you to be more at ease. Your mind isn’t taking in the new stimuli. There isn’t that moment of the unknown. Also, by choosing somewhere you’re familiar with, it also allows you to have prior knowledge of what to order from the menu. We’ve all been there. We’re on a date with a serious case of sweaty palms going on, the heart is beating so loud you think that the waitress must surely hear it.

When you can hardly form actual words, it’s even more difficult to look through a menu with endless options. So perhaps this is something to keep in mind in the stages of pre-date development. Even if you don’t go to a restaurant you know, you’re still able to utilize everyone’s trusty friend, Google, and pick out the perfect meal on their online menu.

This leads me to my next point when you’re actually on the date, your food arrives and you just simply can’t eat it. This has been a common phenomenon for women for a very long time. Despite being hungry, there is this inability to eat in front of a guy, and despite knowing how silly it is, it can be hard to bring yourself to eat.

For some, the chewing seems to take ten times as long as a non-date meal. Why is this? Perhaps some women are experiencing a deep form of patriarchal oppression hitting them, stunning their appetite (I kid). Or perhaps some women feel as though they have to fit a certain mold, and be a woman who doesn’t eat much (since being thin is such a valued virtue in society - ugh).

Here a couple things to keep in mind when it comes to eating in front of a guy:

1. Don't Order the Healthiest Thing on the Menu
If you don't normally eat a kale salad, now is not the time to start. Be you, not the person you think he wants you to be. If you want to eat a double bacon cheeseburger and fries, you order that instead. Trust me, he might even think that's the hottest thing he's seen, especially if you finish off every last bite and still have room for dessert.

2. Keep Perspective in Mind
If you're one of those girls who hate eating in front of men because you feel like they're watching you, I urge you to rethink that. I can almost always guarantee that that isn't the case. Most of the time, the guy is so focused on eating the bomb ass food in front of him. He isn't concerned about the way you're chewing or if ketchup is on your face - it might even be a cute moment if he helped you get it off.

3. Guys Are Attracted to Confidence
If you order and eat your food without a problem, and with purpose, I'm sure the guy will think that's awesome. He's probably gone on dates where the girl has only taken two bites, so you being able to eat in front of him could be a turn on, and it can set you apart.

Lastly, I want to leave you with the advice of just having fun. Yes, dates can be scary, but they don't have to be. Remember to breathe, remember how to chew, and you'll be fine.

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Jennifer Moss

I recently graduated with a degree in creative writing from SUNY Oswego. I'm just a small girl with a big heart, lots of thoughts and a passion for all things literary.

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