Now that you've read, Fight the Good Fight: What to Say, this is what you shouldn't say. This is what comes out the worst and what will make any fight worse. So, just don't do it.
Don’t Name Call
Name-calling just never works. Not only is it immature, hurtful, and mean, but it completely disrespects the person you're talking to. Plus, the people you love the most know what hurts you the most and using the meanest name you can, to hurt somebody the most you can, is not what to do in a fight. So don't name call.
Don’t Hit Below the Belt
Along the same lines as not name-calling, is not saying things that hit below the belt. Because you know this person and what hurts them most, what they're most insecure about, and what makes them the most upset or mad, it's very easy to say things and know that they will strike a chord. Instead of trying to win the fight, be nice and show love. Try to understand where they're coming from and don't say things that hit below the belt on purpose, just to hurt them.
Don’t Pick Fights
Picking fights usually happens when someone is feeling down or irritated and they want to be verbally loud to vent their frustration. There is a way to do this that doesn't include picking a fight, but often times it comes out as picking a fight. Instead of raging and yelling or being upset about something towards the person you love, you could talk to them about it, and have them reassure you, and tell you they are there for you.
Don't Say Always or Never
Don't say always, and don't say never. First of all, no one can always or never do something. We're all human and we all fall short sometimes. Also, saying always and never in the middle of an argument can come off as hurtful and like the other person isn't trying to understand you. Also, it leads to feeling and acting defensive, which will never help in a fight.
Don't Bring up the Past
Okay, so I brought this up in the fight the good fight what to say piece, but I had to make it a bullet point again because it's just that important. Don't bring up the past. Do not continue to think, remind yourself, fight, or relate back to a past situation where you were fighting, or an argument took place. Bringing up the past doesn't do anything but further agitate the situation and the argument. When you disagree about something make sure to say your piece and then let it go. I repeat, let it go. And don’t bring it up again.
Nobody wants to fight or disagree but that's just not how the world works. It's important to be able to disagree and have conversations with anyone you come across but most especially with your person. These tips of what to say and what not to say in a fight will definitely help you. If nothing else, they will show you how to act respectful, nice, and thoughtful within an argument. Practice these tips all the time during a disagreement and watch how much better your disagreements turn out.
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