One way of telling if your guy cares for you is to watch his eyes. According to my grandmother – His eyes should light up when you walk into the room.
This makes a lot of sense at the beginning of a relationship when everything is new and exciting. Unfortunately, the fairytale doesn’t always last.
For a relationship to be a healthy, happy and thriving one, it needs a solid foundation where both partners make a conscious effort to make the other happy. For that to happen, they must be open, respectful and trusting with each other. If this sharing and caring stop, the relationship will become sour and unstable.
Sadly, this will lead to frequent disagreements and even more troubling, the look of love will start to dwindle. If you’re feeling resentful towards your partner, it could be that the love you once shared has already diminished. If some of the following signs are happening to you, you may be unhappy and may need to reconsider your relationship.
The relationship is one-sided
You find yourself making extensive efforts to please your partner, organizing outings meeting friends and doing more of the chores at home. You have repeatedly brought this up for discussion, but it hasn’t made any difference. You are now getting physically and mentally tired and worn out as you have a demanding job.
You spend a lot of time arguing and disagreeing
Although a certain amount of disagreement is reasonable in a relationship, this has escalated over time and has recently become abusive. These arguments are unhealthy because you blame each other, you never seem to reach a middle ground, and there’s never a compromise. You now find yourself complaining about little things, looking for revenge and wanting to make him suffer.
He’s constantly telling lies
Lying in a relationship creates barriers, it hurts, and it destroys your intimate relationship. You most likely feel betrayed and even traumatized by the dishonesty of your partner. He has lied so often that you find yourself more and more suspicious of his actions, you want to know who he’s with, what he’s doing etc. Other negative signs are wondering what story he will come up with the next time and if he’s being faithful.
In the beginning you were eager to forgive, but now the constant lying is causing stress, uncertainty and even more distressing, you no longer trust him.
You are unhappy
Do you find yourself finding excuses when he rings and suggests going out? Perhaps you no longer look forward to his texts messages; you no longer have intimate discussions or make plans for the future. In other words, you are unhappy in the relationship.
Tips to help you move on:
• Be kind and respectful to each once you’ve made the decision to move on – you both deserve to be happy. You cannot relive the past, the relationship is not growing so it might be best to turn the page and be happy for him.
• Be optimistic and reclaim your individuality.
You might not see it now, but this break up might be the best thing that happened to you. You gave it your best, it’s time to let go of the relationship, and reclaim your control. For example, Steve Jobs described getting firing from Apple “I didn’t see it then, getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me.”
• Stop feeling sorry for yourself and for him.
As the song says, “you’ve lost that loving feeling,” accept it and move on: finding new friends, new hobbies and new interests is an excellent way to start.
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