We've all been in that situation. You're going over to see your "guy friend" multiple times a week. You watch countless hours of Netflix, cuddle...and more. You find yourself spending more and more time with them, and you're starting to like them.
But you're confused. Why is it that you only spend time together at night, secluded from the outside world? Why is it that you can't read how they're feeling?
In the age of millennial dating, dating is becoming extremely confusing. It's hard to figure where you stand with someone, and you don't want to make it weird. You still don't want to be stuck in dating limbo.
Are you friends? Friends with benefits? Potentially dating? Knowing how and when to DTR (define the relationship) is a tricky balancing act, but ultimately it must be done. Not only to put your mind more at ease but for both parties to be clear on what they're getting into.
Although talking about what you are is the best way to go, here are some signs I've accumulated that may help you out in deciphering your love life:
Terms of endearment are a telling sign that they're into on more than a friend/purely sexual way. Words like "babe, baby, boo.." you know the "b" words are super cute and are often used to show their affection towards you. The only catch with this, they are said outside of sex. Since a lot of stuff gets said in sex in the moment, or out of passion, "baby" is said during sex doesn't always have the same connotation. It's usually derived purely out of lust.
If both of you express that you miss each other, and it has been less than a week, chances are you both having feelings for each other than going beyond just the bedroom. That being said..."I miss you," and "I miss having sex with you," can be two entirely different things. Figuring out if you still would want to hangout with that person if sex weren't an option is a good way to find out how you feel about them.
Do you go on dates? Specifically, dates at normal times of the day where you may run into someone you or your partner know? This is a slightly telling sign that you're more than just fwbs. Going on dates is a somewhat intimate thing that requires lots of talking and listening - so you know, something other sex.
If you guys regularly go on dates and enjoy them, chances are you guys have something more going on. Often fwb relationships are wanted to be hidden, so if he doesn't care to walk down the street with your hand in his, he's not only a keeper, but he's not embarrassed or ashamed to be seen with you.
They're the first person you text when something exciting happens to you. You got that promotion at work, or your article was published in the magazine of your dreams. They're the first person who comes to mind when you want to spread your joy.
Conversely, they're also the same person who comes to mind when you something bad happens to you. Your boss yelled at you for something stupid, or you lost your wallet on the train home. They're the first person you seek comfort from. However, importantly, this happens reciprocally for you two.
Choosing to sleep with only one person can often be a conscious decision. Yes, they may be your only option at the time, but you if you don't find yourself wanting to talk and sleep with other people, that may be a telling sign that there's something else going on. If all your sexual and emotional fulfillment comes from your fwb, that's something you might want to bring up to them.
Deciphering whether or not you're more than just fwbs can be hard. If you decide you want more than your current situation, I suggest you talk to your partner about it in a casual way. Chances are they too are wondering what you are but don't how to approach the conversation.
So if you're feeling the feels, go for it!