Make the First Move! Ask Him Out InsteadBy Kimberley Spinney - 4 min read
For years guys have been making the first move and asking girls out on dates. Whether this is because it
For years guys have been making the first move and asking girls out on dates. Whether this is because it is expected, or simply because they actually wanted to make the first move, that initial question of, “will you go out with me? ” seems to have fallen on the shoulders of men. Although there are plenty of cases where women make the first move, sometimes it can be hard to figure out what to say or even decide how best to approach the guy you are interested in.
However, while it might seem like a terrifying proposition to go up to a guy you are interested in and asking them out, the reality is that the worst thing that could happen is they say no. Their answer does not take anything away from you as a person and it also does not change your self-worth. At the same time, it is a chance to take a leap and make a connection.
If you look at Twitter, Reddit, or any number of social media accounts, there are always people talking about the things that turn them on or the things that interest them when it comes to dating. Men have expressed their own feelings about being asked out on dates and have at times offered up their own suggestions to use when it comes to taking the initiative and making the first move on them.
Perhaps one of the most overwhelming pieces of advice that men often share about women is that they want to see confidence. If a woman has confidence in herself, then they are infinitely more attractive in the eyes of men. Plus, if you have already taken that first step to ask a guy out, you are showing him that you have the confidence in yourself to make the first move.
Even if you are approaching a guy you are interested in or find attractive for the very first time, make sure you exude confidence. This includes being enthusiastic in saying hello to them. Don’t make it about you and instead gauge their interest based on their own response back to you. It typically is not too hard to determine if a person wants to talk to you or not and this first hello can make or break your meeting.
Something not to do when you are trying to ask a guy out or get to know them is to be vague. If you are vague when you talk to a guy, chances are they will have no clue that you are even interested in them. In fact, it is entirely likely that by being vague it will actually have a guy backing off so he does not come across as a creep in some way. Make your intentions known and be willing to stand behind your interest.
Unlike women, who will often get complimented for the way they look, men don’t always get equal treatment in terms of being told they look good. While men might be told something generic, such as they are handsome, for some men, it is rare to hear something like, “you have gorgeous eyes.” Whereas women might hear these kinds of things and completely ignore it, for men this could be a thrilling and new experience. On social media, there have been plenty of men who have shared that they would love to have a woman interact with them in such a way, rather than it always being about how the woman looks.
Looks are not the only thing you can compliment when it comes to approaching a guy either. Maybe instead of focusing on their physical attributes, mention an interesting tattoo they have or even that you like their shirt. If they are holding a book, ask about it. It might seem dumb to you, but to them, it could be just what they need to smile and appreciate the fact that you took the time to notice them.
As was mentioned before, even if you ask a guy out and he says no, there is nothing wrong with making that attempt anyway. Even if the guy is not interested in you, it is still a compliment to be approached at all. At most, there might be some awkwardness, but that shouldn’t deter you from taking the chance. Many men have said that they can’t always read the signs when a woman is interested in them and smiles don’t equate to interest. If you want a guy to notice you, sometimes you have to put in that effort and go to them first.
Even if you aren’t the best at flirting, there is nothing wrong with telling the guy that. Just let him know you are interested, be blunt and honest. Saying hello is free and letting a man know that you would love to get to know him is a sign of confidence, even if flirting isn’t your thing.
No matter how you approach a guy you are interested in, it is all about actually making that attempt. Be honest, be confident and be clear. Guys might not pick up on the more subtle hints a girl throws out, but if you straight up ask him out on a date or even make it clear that you would love to get to know him better, there is no way he can mistake that for anything other than genuine interest.
While you might not get a date out of making the first move and asking out that cute or interesting guy you have your eye on, chances are you will also learn a little something about yourself in the process. Being the person to make the first move shows that you are a strong, independent woman who has self-confidence, even if you don’t feel that way at the time. Not only are you showing the guy you are fierce in your own way, but you are also showing yourself the same thing.
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