You have made a connection through a dating app and now it is time for that very first date. You think it is going well and are hopeful that a second date is on the horizon. However, that isn’t what happens and your date isn’t really telling you what went wrong.
First impressions are important, and while beauty is said to be in the eye of the beholder, that does not mean there are not things that we all do that seem to not only leave a bad impression on another person but also make us seem less attractive in many ways. The last thing we want is to continually strike out when it comes to romance or meeting new people.
Unfortunately, there will be times when we just do not click with another person or the connection is not really there (even if that is on only one side). There are also times when the things we do during that first date or meeting give off vibes that are just not attractive to the other person. However, we are hoping to help fix these problems by putting together some tips that might improve your odds, and make meeting people for the first time as positive as possible.
Don’t Place the Focus on You
While it might be your first instinct to make yourself more comfortable, the reality is that it is actually better to try and make the person or people you are with feel comfortable. By shifting the focus away from yourself, you will actually be able to relax quicker because you won’t have the same anxieties. With the attention no longer being internal, you simply won’t have the same level of anxiousness that typically comes from a first meeting.
Although the idea of smiling might seem to be obvious, for some people their natural, relaxed facial expression is not a smile. While there is no reason to fake smile so much that things become awkward, even just trying to smile more can make a big difference. Smiles make us seem more approachable and even trustworthy. Happy people are also considered to be more attractive, which is certainly something we want on a first date or meeting.
Pay Attention to Your Grammar
Even when you are speaking to people, you should be mindful of your grammar and word choices. People often judge us on the way we speak and when we repeatedly make mistakes, it can actually be a turn off to others. Often these mistakes make it seem as if a person is uneducated, lazy, or even uninterested.
When it comes to making a good first impression, it is definitely important to be punctual. The last thing that you want is to be late and make it seem like you either don’t care or don’t respect the other person’s time. Respecting the other person’s time is just common courtesy and unfortunately, it seems to be something a lot of people forget.
Be Prepared to Talk About Yourself
This may seem silly, but you should be prepared to talk about who you are with the person you are meeting. No, I don’t mean planning an introductory speech or anything like that, I mean thinking about how you might introduce yourself and even what you might want to mention in terms of likes, dislikes, and even what you are looking for. Thinking about this in advance can help you to not only keep the conversation going but can actually get a conversation started.
Ask the Other Person Questions
There is nothing more unattractive than someone who completely monopolizes a conversation, and makes it seem as if they have no interest in the other person. Make sure that you ask the person you are with questions about themselves.
For any conversation to happen there needs to be a sense of giving and taking. By asking questions of the person you are with, you are a lot more likely to engage in what amounts to a verbal dance. Questions also act as a way to express your interest in the other person.
Pay Attention to the Other Person
Again, while this may seem obvious, it is actually something that happens quite often. We think we are paying attention, but the reality is much different. Instead of giving our undivided attention to the person we are with, especially when they are speaking to us, we tend to wander off in some way. Whether this means looking at your phone, looking around the room, or simply not focusing on the other person and what they are saying, giving your attention to the person you are with can be very important.
Mind Your Table Manners
When food is involved, remember your table manners. No one wants to see the food you are chewing on, which means try not to talk with your mouth full at all. Swallow first and then answer a question.
In order to make the best first impression, it is important to be polite. Being kind and respectful shouldn’t even need to be said, but sometimes we don’t really think about what we are saying. Until the person you are meeting really knows who you are it is best to put your best foot forward, and that means being polite and respectful.
While all of these tips might seem obvious, the fact is that we actually forget at times that our first meeting with someone new, is also their real first impression of who we are. Manners are quite important when it comes to any meeting, but especially the first meeting, and at the same time so is making the other person feel comfortable with you. Think about how you want to be treated and the impression you want to give this person, and that should be enough to at least help to give yourself the best chance of a positive first encounter.
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