We all want our moms to love our partners, but let's be real, moms can be really hard to please.
To make all of our lives easier, I decided to go to the source and ask a beautiful group of mothers, of all ages, from all walks of lives, what kind of partner they would choose for their children and this is what they said...
Cheryl, 55, Mother of 1:
“I would love someone who treats her like the queen she is because I know she will treat him like a king. He has to have a sense of humor and of course, love his mother-in-law. He also has to be able to take any drama she dishes out. He must have a level-head and be handy around the house and with kids.”
Cheryl, girl, you are so right. A woman deserves to be treated like the queen she is. As for the drama, guys should know what they're getting themselves into. They are just as guilty of bringing drama into a relationship.
Sharon, 56, Mother of 2:
“All I have ever wanted for my children is for them to be healthy and happy. Therefore, I would expect my child's partner to want that for them as well. I do not care about the age, race, religion, or gender of the partner my child chooses. However, they must believe in something or someone who keeps their
moral compass in check.
Another important factor is that they realize that my children are my whole heart; Taking a child away from me is akin to taking my life from me. In which case, my child's partner would be the first on my list to come back from the dead to haunt. All of these requirements apply, not only to my biological children but also to those my heart and soul have adopted.”
Sharon, I'm glad you actually have a list of people to haunt after you pass away. That's very organized of you. My list would be a mile long. Faith or belief IS important. It doesn't matter if you believe in God and go to church every week or if you pray to the Kool-Aid man every night while doing a fire dance on your front lawn. Yeah, it's a little weird, but if you're passionate about it, you can sell it.
Sara, 40, Mother of 4:
“I hope they have a partner who is loving and kind. Someone who understands what drives them, and who encourages them to be their best selves. I hope they find someone they can laugh with and play with, someone they can trust with their innermost feelings, and someone who inspires them to seize life with both hands. I hope their partners challenge them in positive ways, to make positive contributions, and to make the world a better place. I hope they find someone who makes them feel wildly happy and deeply loved!”
Sara, you're making my mascara run (Sephora was out of the waterproof version of Better Than Sex)!. But seriously, encouraging a person's dreams is on the top of my list for a worthwhile partnership! Amen, sister!
Carol, 75, Mother of 3:
“Be down-to-earth, fun, loving, supportive, adventurous and most of all CONSIDERATE.”
CONSIDERATION. Enough said.
Deborah, 66, Mother of 2:
“In ancient times, when I was dating, parents seemed to have very simple hopes for the qualities of a good partner for their child. A girl should look for a tall, handsome guy, with good job prospects and handy-man skills. He should be similar to her Dad in faith, politics and baseball teams. And he should be polite to her mother.
But, today, the mountain of requirements for an ideal partner for my daughter is much more complicated, including things like sexual orientation, parental duties, political correctness and even dietary preferences... However, amid the morass of confusing needs and wants, I believe the basics remain the same; Look for someone who will hold you close when you lose your footing, who will basque in the beauty of your success, and who will see the truth of who you are and celebrate that! As for the guy my mother picked for me, nearly 50 years of living, loving and laughing later, well, he still encourages me to fly free looking for my own new adventures...while waiting with open arms for my return!"
Debbie, can I call you Debbie? Baseball teams still should be considered when entering a relationship, but I do agree with you that times have changed and there is so much more to consider. Glad you found your perfect match! He sounds dreamy!
Kasie, 26, Mother of 1:
"I have a sassy little two-year-old who thinks she’s going on 18, so I’d need a partner who’s not weak-minded. They're going to have to be able to handle our sass with a whole lot of patience and understanding. I also want someone who finds the humor in life; Someone who can turn moments that otherwise could be chaotic into a memory that we could all laugh at later on. It's important that they understand they might have to give a little more than they get every now and then, to foster an equal partnership."
Kasie, your girl's sass is going to take her places, so keep encouraging it. Every girl deserves a partner that will be able to handle their attitude.
Lynda, 52, Mother of 3:
“An ideal partner for my child would be their best friend, in addition to the love of their life. They have to be able to enjoy normal, boring things together because most of life is not a romantic first date. I want them to find someone with great character - hardworking, respectful, kind, responsible, positive, empathetic. Someone who understands my child's inner workings: what makes them happy and what makes them anxious, whether they need fun and adventure, or quiet, predictable and calm.
They definitely need a sense of humor. I want them to find an equal. Neither should be 100% dependent on the other. Both need to have their own goals, interests, and careers, and they need to support and balance each other with understanding and not resentment. I want them to find someone strong and resilient. Life is not an easy, straight road, and having someone to hold your hand through all the dips and turns is what it is all about.”
Lynda, you're so right! Life isn't just one big first date. Relationships are full of slumps, boring nights on the couch, sometimes gross stuff like vomit (don't ask me about my past relationships). Everyone deserves a partner that will understand this and enjoy even those moments. Even the vomit. They should enjoy the vomit or at least understand it.
Morgan, 31, Mother of 2:
“Five qualities I would want in a significant other for my girls (once they are much older of course!) Love her, really truly love her. Have common life goals; Get married, raise a family, etc. To have no substance abuse issues. To be loyal, honest, and kind-hearted. And of course, they have to love their momma!”
Morgan, I love how you gave yourself a number limit. I'm sure as a mom you could go on and on about what you hope for in a partner for your two little ones. Substance abuse is something no one else mentioned, and I think it's extremely important. It's hard to love someone fully when you have something else controlling you.
Rhonda, 58, Mother of 3:
“As a mom of 3 boys, I think that the most important attributes that my child's life partner should have are a sense of humor. Life can be difficult at times, but if they have a special person they can share it with and not take it quite so serious, it can be a great journey. Finding someone they can trust, who loves them for who they are, doesn't need to own or change them, and who doesn't resent that they have friends and family that they love to spend time with is also essential for a happy, lasting relationship.”
Rhonda, girl, three boys; I bet that was a crazy household when they were young. A lot of bugs, sticky hands, and weird smells, I'm guessing. But, you're right, let's overlook the messes life throws at us, and make it fun.
Rosemary, 33, Mother of 1:
“Calling all blonde cuties 3 months or younger for a dapper 7-month-old gentleman! Jokes. I'm type A, but planning my son's soulmate is a small stretch. That being said, as long as they love each other, even if they don't like each other at times, and as long as they find ways to laugh when times are the toughest, and as long as they strive to be their best together... I'd say they are blessed.”
Ok, Rosemary, so I've put out a call for blonde cuties, and we only have a few hits so far. None of them are potty-trained yet, so I don't know if that's a dealbreaker. Let me know.
Michaele, 49, Mother of 4:
“I would love a man who treats my daughter with respect. Love her through every up and down. Laugh with her and not at her. And then of course, always hold her hand in public to let everyone know she is his! Hope this helps.”
Michaele, holding hands is so important, even when her hands are sweaty!
Tanya, 38, Mother of 2:
“I would hope that my child will end up with someone who is successful in life. They should be more romantic than a Hallmark card poet, and easy on the eyes. They should be funny and kind and let's not forget clean and organized. The most important thing is that this person makes my son or daughter extremely happy.”
Yes, Tanya, I love a clean and organized man. No one wants to be a mother to their partner.
Haleigh, 24, Mother of 2:
“As a mother, all I can hope for is that my children end up happy. I know that what makes each individual happy is different, therefore I don’t believe that I could hand-pick a perfect partner for my children, only some traits I hope their relationship has. I hope my children find someone who not only embraces their flaws, but also finds them endearing, and never tries to change them. I hope they find someone who encourages them to reach their goals, big and small. I hope they find someone with perseverance who will never give up on the love they share, patience for when the relationship simply needs a little time to strengthen, and the passion to always continue bettering the relationship they share. I do not wish for them to have a relationship free of pain because I believe true love has many moments of hurt and trial; I just hope they use this pain to grow and better themselves, as well as their relationship. I hope my children find their partners what I have found in their father, a home, and a forever.”
Haleigh, you are so real! Love isn't always perfect. Life isn't perfect. Nothing is perfect, because people aren't perfect!
Image Credit: Pixabay