What to Say Exactly In a First Online Dating Message?

What to Say Exactly In a First Online Dating Message?

Instagram and Facebook, Badoo and Tinder, Mamba and LovePlanet… social networks, dating websites, and other modern online platforms have become the number one place to meet a prospective partner or a casual date.

According to statistics, about 40% of Americans first met their partners on the internet.

Obviously, with the quick-fire development of technology, the era of long sweet letters to turn him and romantic serenading under her window are dying out.

For better or for worse, these days, it’s sometimes enough to come up with a catchy online dating first message to get a response and a date.

Online dating has lots of advantages for an average modern person:

  • You are not limited geographically
  • You don’t waste your time meeting people who have nothing in common with you
  • It’s an opportunity to meet someone you’d never meet in real life

Besides, it’s much less stressful to write a text comparing to love letters for him or her.

This guide includes the best strategies of writing first online dating messages, some really cool examples to copy, and online dating message tips that work.

How To Write the Best First Message?

A win-win conversation starter is a guarantee of the following success on a dating site. Here are some strategies on how to make your first message have the necessary impact:

  1. Ask questions – it’s flattering to know that you care what they think, besides it helps to find common ground and start talking about it. Use fun and unusual questions, but don’t overdo.
  2. Organically use their name – it always catches, since people like hearing/reading their name. It makes the conversation more personalized.
  3. Compliment their personality more than their looks – emphasize that you are interested in who they are rather in the way they look. Remember that physical compliments are nice but empty.
  4. Comment on their profile – But again, show your interest in WHAT they write/do in the photo rather than on the way they look (it can be a sweet bonus at the end of your comment).
  5. Keep a distance – Just like in real life dating, you shouldn’t mention some taboo topics like politics, religion, and worldview.
  6. Make it simple and short – Keep your questions related and easy to respond quickly. However, they shouldn’t be basic and typical.
  7. Be polite – impress them with your confidence and respect.
  8. Don’t show off – your desire to impress them can fail you. Don’t try to seem better, funnier, wittier, more clever than you actually are. Be yourself – this is the most effective charm possible.
  9. Check your message before sending it – Make sure you sound catchy but naturally, try to imagine how would you react to a message like this, would it interest you? Also, pay attention to typos and errors.  

Examples of What to Say in Your First Online Dating Texts

In this section, we’ve picked up the Best Conversation Starters. They are perfect examples to copy and paste.

However, adding a little bit of personalized twist is a must if you are going to win this game!

  • We are both on this site to meet someone great. I think it would be foolish if we didn’t talk at least once.
  • Your profile made me smile. I’d like to get to know you better.
  • I read through your profile and we seem to share a love of adventure, the feel of sand in our toes, and the taste of an authentic french croissant.
  • I see that you like to cook. I’m trying to be better at cooking myself. I made a great vegetarian lasagna a few nights ago. What’s your favorite dish to cook?
  • Where were your profile pictures taken?
  • Can I just be honest here, why beat around the bush…I’d love to tear your clothes off 😉
  • Hey, Chris! From your profile I see that you’ve got a boat. So do I! There’s nothing better than a lazy summer afternoon on the water. Do you have any favorite spots? Personally, I’m a big fan of Lake Murray.
  • Hello, Jenny! I’ve just seen that the website has matched us and I have to say – I’m really impressed with the algorithm! I wasn’t sure about this whole online dating malarkey, but after reading your profile I can already see that you and I think the same way on several subjects. How about you? Are you enjoying being on a dating site?
  • What’s your favorite hidden gem in your neighborhood?
  • Based on your profile, I think we’d hit it off.
  • I like that you’re into sports. My favorite is baseball. I’m a lifelong Yankees fan.
  • I have some friends who went to Cornell. I wonder if we have any friends in common.
  • What is on your bucket list?
  • If you had no fears, what would be the first thing you would do?
  • Hey, I’m addicted to games on my phone. What do you play the most?
  • Hey, I love traveling. Where’s the last place you visited?
  • Do you have any tattoos? If you got one what would you get?

Relationships have evolved from a short letter for a boyfriend and a romantic mysterious gift for a girlfriend to online dating, texts, and video chats. 

However, one thing stays the same: you need a little bit of confidence and respect to make your first conversation lead to another date.